Dalai Lama has the antidote to destructive emotions

Dalai Lama has the antidote to destructive emotionsDalai Lama has the antidote to destructive emotionsEmotions are deceiving - some can even pollute urmind.In a groundbreaking move, the Dalai Lama joined forces with top Western psychologists with a lofty mission. He purposefully wanted to put religion aside. hThe ultimate goal?He wants to help turn people into more self-aware, compassionate humans. If we can learn to navigate ur (destructive) emotions, we will be able to achieve calmness and inner-peace.Any person capable of gemeindelanding you becomes your master. EpictetusOur emotions shape our lives, bedrngnis just our thoughts and behavior. However, in cowboyfilm culture, managing our emotions is associated with moral and social interaction, not for being a good person. Unlike Buddhists, we dont think of emotions as a way to a harmonious inner-life.But, what happens when we bring both science and Buddhism together? Thats what the Dalai Lama found out.Follow Ladders on FlipboardF ollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThe Science ofEmotionsWestern science has been measuring what mental hygiene looks like for ages - unfortunately, most studies have created division, rather than alignment, among experts.The Dalai Lama imagined a map of our emotions to develop a calm mind. He asked renowned emotion scientist, Dr. Paul Ekman, to realize his idea but to keep religion out of it.The first step Ekman took was finding some common ground among scientists - his survey provided a shared foundation to how emotions work. The majority of experts agree thatEmotions are universal - facial signals to emotions are similar across cultures tooWe all experience five fundamental emotions anger, fear, disgust, sadness, and enjoymentThere are universal triggers to emotionWe getangrywhen something blocks us or when we think were being treated unfairly.Sadnessis a response to loss - feeling sad allows us to ta ke a timeout and show others that we need support.Feelingdisgustedbywhat is toxichelps us avoid being poisoned - both physically or socially. Ourfearof danger lets us anticipate threats to our safety.Enjoymentdescribes the many good feelings that arise from experiences both novel and familiar.Thoughts are private emotions are public.According to Dr. Paul Ekman, Professor of Psychology at UCSF we can know someones emotion, but not the thought that provoked it. He cites the example of someone whos fearful when arrested. Is he afraid because he was caught or because he is innocent?Emotions are an instant brain response - they happen to us, we dont choose them.But, when do emotions become destructive?Science says all emotions are natural and okay, and that emotions become destructive only when they are expressed inappropriately. For example, its normal to experience sadness when someone dies, but a depressed person is sad in an inappropriate way.Buddhism, on the other hand, believes t hat destructive emotions are obstacles - we must overcome them to achieve happiness.Constructive emotions help improve a situation destructive emotions make it worse.The Emotional TimelineThe Atlas of Emotions is a visual representation of what researchers have learned from studying emotion. It helps us be aware of our emotions - how they are triggered, what they feel like, and how we can respond.Dr. Ekman, who formerly worked as an advisor in Pixars Inside Out film, recalled the Dalai Lama telling him When we wanted to get to the New World, we needed a map. So make a map of emotions so we can get to a calm state.Our emotions unfold on a timeline - they begin with a trigger that initiates the emotional experience and ultimately results in a response.The trigger occurs in a context defined by our circumstances and feelings, the event itself, and our worldview. The same stimulus can lead to different responses.For example, we might suppress feelings of frustration at work, but expr ess our frustration by yelling at a family member at home. Emotion suppression can create a short-term win - like avoiding an argument - but can become destructive if you are hurt by not speaking up for yourself.Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame. BenjaminFranklinNot all emotions are equal - they have varying shapes and intensities. For example, annoyance is a mild expression ofanger, while fury is the most extreme version of that same emotion.Our emotional experience datenwolkes our perception of a situation - we filter people and events through our emotions. Your reaction can turn an emotion into a destructive one.Emotions are a signal - they can prevent danger, or get you in trouble.Our response is the last element - and the most important one - of the emotional timeline. Although its not always easy to control our emotions, some responses are moredestructivethan others. Rather than reacting to them, we must learn to understand our emotions.In the past, compassion w as something of a sign of weakness, or anger a sign of power, a sign of strength. Basic human nature is more compassionate. Thats the real basis of our hope. Dalai LamaDestructive emotions, according to Daniel Goldman, refer to an emotion that can lead us to harm ourselves and others - either mentally or physically.Though anger, paralyzing fear, and depression are the most frequent ones, almost any emotion can cause harm. Craving and addiction - even an obsessive pursuit of happiness - can become destructive.Emotions distort our ability to think clearly making it more difficult to choose the right response. After a destructive emotion arises, there is a refractory period - we dont let new information enter our mind, andwe keep rehashing one particular emotion.Time and distance help us gain clarity and make better choices.Take the example of a colleague that frequently arrives late to a meeting. You might think s/he is deliberately insulting you and interpret everything s/he does as a personal attack.Therapy, mindfulness, and meditation train our mind to shorten the refractory period - we learn to reflect rather than being blinded by our feelings.By increasingself-awareness, we learn to pause before we respond and choose a constructive reaction.The Antidote to Destructive EmotionsScientists have learned that recurring negative emotions can create long-term harm.Thats the case of people who suffer fromcynical hostility,a pattern defined by high anger and frequent thoughts that others cant be trusted. People who experience cynical hostility tend to get more cardiovascular disease and oftendie at younger ages.The antidote to a destructive emotion is a constructive emotion.To fight anger, hatred, and fear, we must develop compassion, love, and patience. Destructive emotions are impulsive - they are based on misconceptions and illogical reasons. Constructive emotions are realistic - they are grounded in valid observation and reasoning.The Dalai Lama recommend s we use valid reasoning to develop a mental state to overcome destructive emotions.For example, love, as an antidote to anger, must be cultivated through reasoning.A calm mind directly leads to peace of mind DalaiLamaThe result of constructive emotions is a calm mind - we see and experience life more vividly and realistically.What destroys a calm mind?Fear, suspicion, hatred, anger, greed, and too much ambition.The Dalai Lama believes that Just as we teach about physical hygiene in the interest of good health, we now need to teach about emotional hygiene.Dr. Mark Greenberg, Professor at Pennsylvania State University, trains young children how to manage their destructive emotions, especially anger. His program helps children calm down - to decrease the refractory period - and become more aware of emotional states in themselves and others.The programcoaches kids to discuss their feelings as a way to solve problems, plan ahead to avoid difficulties, and be aware of the effects thei r behavior has on others.Children learn to identify the various emotions and their opposites. They use a set of cards with different facial expressions of emotions, so others know how theyre feeling.Greenbergs approach teaches that emotions are important signals, but we must be calm to behave appropriately.The Dalai Lama coined the termEmotional sauberkeitto encourage us to get anger, frustration, and anxiety, under control. Negative emotions cloud our mind - we must wash them away.The spiritual leader believes that, in addition to managing destructive emotions, we need to cultivate positive ones as well. Although they may not be usable in the heat of the moment, positive emotions build a good foundation - they strengthen your emotional immune system.Scientists agree that when we practice something positive often, our brain changes for the better.How to Develop Emotional HygieneThe same way we learn standards of physical hygiene, we must develop our emotional hygiene. Start by inc reasing your emotional awareness - you want to understand your emotions, not get rid of them.1. Recognize emotionsTake time to step back and observe your emotions. How do you feel? What do you experience? Naming our emotions is the first step to increase awareness.Learn to discriminate your feelings - some people confuse anger with fear. Get familiar with how each emotion manifests. The post below can help you dive deeper into each emotion.2. Know thetriggersUnderstand what sets you off. Recognize the signals or stimuli that can cloud your judgment. Are there any particular event, context, or person that usually triggers destructive emotions?Review recent incidents and use the Emotional Timeline to reflect on your reactions.Trigger ? Emotional Reaction ? Behavioral ResponseWhat have you learned? What would you do differently next time? Why?3. Connect with yourbodyOur facial language is not the only way we communicate our emotions. Recognize how your feelings affect your body. Noti ce changes in your breathing pattern, body temperature, heart rate, muscle knots, skin sensitivity, etc.Our body is a great emotional conductor - notice your physical well-being and reactions. Learn to prevent tensions or to avoid damaging your body, by making space before you act - dont let emotions create damaging patterns.4. Manage your reactionsReflect on how you usually react to a specific situation? Learn to pause before you respond. Emotions usually create a quick impulse to react, by training our mind, we make room to think before our emotions hijack our behavior.The following mindfulness exercises are a great start to help you pause, reflect, and be more present.5. Adjust andlearnEmotional Hygiene requires learning to perceive, appraise and express our emotions accurately. You emotion-management ability not only improves well-being and social interactions but will also help you overcome limiting behaviorssuch as procrastination.Training your mind is not a linear path - i t requires ongoing practice and adjustments. If you feel angry, learn to absprache with that anger. You need to let go of that emotion to act more skillfully.Practice will improve your ability, but dont get frustrated when you get back to overreacting mode. Be patient and kind to yourself.A clean mind creates space for loving-kindness, compassion, and happiness. Emotional Hygiene is the antidote to destructive emotions.The Atlas of Emotionsis a powerful visual tool to help you familiarize with your feelings. Play with it. The interactive map lets you click through the emotional timeline from identifying emotions to exploring its multiple layers and expressions.This article first appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people